I am just Seventeen. An adolescent. I do not wish to grow up faster and be an adult. My parents do!! My teachers want me to grow up even faster, finish my studies and earn for myself. My parents want me to be successful. Every parent wants that for the child. My elder brother wants me to be a better human being than him. My friends want me to accompany them in every other get-together! My boyfriend wants me to call him everyday and spend more time with him. What do I want?? What are my expectations from myself?? Do I exist only to live for people who care about me??
As I logged in to my dashboard, I was clear, I had to post in Jagruti. But what I'm going to write about was still doubtful!! So I played some songs, sipped through my flavored hot milk and recalled whatever I did at school today!! I am not any other adolescent trying to prove her point in a public forum, that teenagers are not understood by anyone. Well, I disagree with that. My mom understands me, so does my brother and father. My friends sometimes fail to do so. But almost everyone understands me fairly well. My point of concern here is that we are being pressurized so much, by everyone. And everyone includes ourselves as well. I still have a long long way to go to understand the complexities of life. I'm not unaware of the cut-throat competition I'll be facing once I pass out of my class twelve. Neither do I not know how difficult it is to maintain your standards. There still lies a huge BUT!!
The first period started with Accountancy. The teacher screamed at the top of his voice. He wanted to check the ten questions he gave as homework from the chapter financial statements, with adjustments (and it is difficult). Those who hadn't done it (count me out) were scolded pretty badly. He then started his immortal lecture on "balance between studies and activities". I still think about his contradicting statement. He said, "You people are studying in DPS, you have to take part in activities. It helps in your holistic development. But, you should not neglect studies. " What I found contradicting here was that on one hand he is ordering us to take part in school activities and on the other hand, he is scolding us for not doing the homework. How the hell will we do it we have to be present even on Saturdays and Sundays, just because we accidentally took part in the ballet!! I was only listening to him.
I feel that not only the school and parents are responsible for adolescents feeling pressurized, it is teenagers themselves. If you know you cannot handle multi-tasking at school, what's the bloody point in participating in possibly everything?? Valid question!! I have the answer.
Class eleven is almost ending and I took part in uncountable things. My studies were affected, big time. Partly due to school participation and partly due to some unavoidable reasons, personally. I very well knew I wouldn't be able to handle so much stress...If I had debate this Friday, then I had declamation competition on Thursday and even had MUN on the weekend. I, then had to prepare the compere for the valedictory function. I had to speak in the Drug Sensitization workshop. All of this happened in a span of two continuous months. Two months before my half-yearly exams. The result was the lowest in my life. Mom was upset, dad was worried, bro was angry!! All of them told me to learn time management and what not. I did not participate in a few things here and there. And then, suddenly, I get the news of this chic trying to over power me by taking parts in dramas and street plays and what not. I was tensed. Very tensed. I had working my ass off all through the year to become the next head girl. And this chic, by taking part in one drama over powers my presence. Two words...It Sucks!!
Isn't this pressure?? Why do I want to be a head girl?? Why in this world, do I need to be a leader?? Why not?? Aren't we taught to lead the way?? Aren't we taught that we should always look and walk ahead?? Then, why these questions?? My mom once told me that she was the head girl in her school and also that she sees her reflection in me!! Isn't that reason enough for me to prove her right?? And, at the end of the day, we are still being judged on the number of "A" grades on our report cards.
I'm not Aamir Khan and I don't intend to make another Taare Zameen Par. But it is a fact, till we don't achieve something that is acceptable by the so-called "Gods" of our society, we'd be pressurized. Be it at school, college, job or even Roadies!! We have to prove our existence. Why?? Isn't it said..those who are great, need not prove it...Nope!! That's not acceptable. If you're good enough, prove it!!
If today I'm writing to feel "un-pressurized", it is my way of de-stressing myself. But while I'm writing, all goes in my mind is that I have to prepare for the exchange program, have to do my homework, prepare my dance routine and cook dinner. And mind it, that's a 17 year old speaking!!
Suicidal Love!
She was a beautiful girl, probably the most beautiful girl I ever met. She was a gem of a person. There are some people who always carve themselves in your hearts, she was one of them. Drishti...a beautiful name given by her mother. She had hazel eyes...and a vision to see everyone being loved. She was this crazy girl who never spared a moment to enjoy her life to the fullest. Her credo in life was, "Live your life to the fullest, you don't know when you'll die!!" It all seemed so vague. So out of this world, that I always smiled at her belief. I called her the vibrant end of the rainbow. Not because she was my best friend, but she was just like that. Always smiling, always joking and dancing around. She, to a lot of extent, taught me to be stronger each day. She lost her mom when she was fourteen. Her dad remarried. The stepmom made her life hell. She came back to India, lived here for a year and went back to London. Her life was not easy. Living in one of the most expensive cities of the world, was not easy at all. The only support she had from her dad was that of the money.
She called me up one night, she was very happy.
"Shane, I found him."
"Who?"
"The one I love the most."
"Are you sure??"
"Yeah! And we're moving in."
"Drishti, are you sure you're ready for it?"
"Yes! I love him."
"Congrats. I'm very happy for you."
From that night onwards, she became a lot more sober. She suddenly became so mature and composed that I found it hard to believe that she was the same Drishti I knew. But she was the same. We still had a lot of fun, but now, she thought about him. Only about him. Day and night. Just about him. I was the happiest to see her so glad. She lived a dream. But just like every dream, she had to wake up. And when she did, she muted herself forever.
She called me again.
"Shane..."
"What happened?? Are you alright?? You want me to come over?"
"No..I just wanna tell you that...I'm gonna be a mom soon."
"What?!? Drishti?? Are you insane?? You're just seventeen."
"I know. But I want to be one."
"You're out of your bloody mind. Fred knows??"
"yeah."
"What did he say?"
"He's happy too."
"I'm against this. Rest is your choice."
"But..listen.."
I hung up. Somewhere, I didn't like the whole feeling. I'm educated. I'm aware. I'm broad-minded. But what is wrong is wrong. There are no excuses for it. Anyways, my birthday was approaching. I celebrated it. I didn't receive a call from her. I was worried. Very worried. The next day, her brother called me up and told me that she committed suicide, on my birthday. This was her own way of saying sorry to me. I asked him the reason for this step of hers. He replied in a trembling British accent, "Fred betrayed her. She couldn't take it. She killed herself."
I was angry...battered...broken...irritated...I wanted to break that guy's head. I wanted to slam him hard in the wall. I wanted to throw him from the twenty third floor of my building. I wanted to do so much, but couldn't. Just couldn't.
Why am I telling this to all of you here?? My first post to this forum and it's full of death and mistakes. I wrote it because I hate us. I hate ourselves for being so ignorant when we're educating ourselves so brilliantly. That girl lost her life over someone who never had respect for her. She killed those twin lives inside her for a person to whom she was only a thing. He just wanted her to fill his bed. Why?? Don't our parents always teach us to be respectful to each other?? And why did Drishti kill herself over
him?? If he betrayed her, then wasn't she supposed to bounce back?? I guess no!!
All of this seems to be a hunky-dory. Writing and reading about sex and its consequences is so easy. It's the same with failed relationships. Isn't it true that our society is stinking today??
Whenever I heard such news of people killing themselves over unsuccessful relationships, I used to frown and that's it. Never had I thought, I'd be witnessing something like this happening with my own best friend. She was my sister and I still cannot believe it. Each time I look at our pictures, I can only remember her words, "Live your life to the fullest, you don't know when you'll die!!" The only difference here is, that she knew when she'd die!!
She called me up one night, she was very happy.
"Shane, I found him."
"Who?"
"The one I love the most."
"Are you sure??"
"Yeah! And we're moving in."
"Drishti, are you sure you're ready for it?"
"Yes! I love him."
"Congrats. I'm very happy for you."
From that night onwards, she became a lot more sober. She suddenly became so mature and composed that I found it hard to believe that she was the same Drishti I knew. But she was the same. We still had a lot of fun, but now, she thought about him. Only about him. Day and night. Just about him. I was the happiest to see her so glad. She lived a dream. But just like every dream, she had to wake up. And when she did, she muted herself forever.
She called me again.
"Shane..."
"What happened?? Are you alright?? You want me to come over?"
"No..I just wanna tell you that...I'm gonna be a mom soon."
"What?!? Drishti?? Are you insane?? You're just seventeen."
"I know. But I want to be one."
"You're out of your bloody mind. Fred knows??"
"yeah."
"What did he say?"
"He's happy too."
"I'm against this. Rest is your choice."
"But..listen.."
I hung up. Somewhere, I didn't like the whole feeling. I'm educated. I'm aware. I'm broad-minded. But what is wrong is wrong. There are no excuses for it. Anyways, my birthday was approaching. I celebrated it. I didn't receive a call from her. I was worried. Very worried. The next day, her brother called me up and told me that she committed suicide, on my birthday. This was her own way of saying sorry to me. I asked him the reason for this step of hers. He replied in a trembling British accent, "Fred betrayed her. She couldn't take it. She killed herself."
I was angry...battered...broken...irritated...I wanted to break that guy's head. I wanted to slam him hard in the wall. I wanted to throw him from the twenty third floor of my building. I wanted to do so much, but couldn't. Just couldn't.
Why am I telling this to all of you here?? My first post to this forum and it's full of death and mistakes. I wrote it because I hate us. I hate ourselves for being so ignorant when we're educating ourselves so brilliantly. That girl lost her life over someone who never had respect for her. She killed those twin lives inside her for a person to whom she was only a thing. He just wanted her to fill his bed. Why?? Don't our parents always teach us to be respectful to each other?? And why did Drishti kill herself over
him?? If he betrayed her, then wasn't she supposed to bounce back?? I guess no!!
All of this seems to be a hunky-dory. Writing and reading about sex and its consequences is so easy. It's the same with failed relationships. Isn't it true that our society is stinking today??
Whenever I heard such news of people killing themselves over unsuccessful relationships, I used to frown and that's it. Never had I thought, I'd be witnessing something like this happening with my own best friend. She was my sister and I still cannot believe it. Each time I look at our pictures, I can only remember her words, "Live your life to the fullest, you don't know when you'll die!!" The only difference here is, that she knew when she'd die!!
The spirit of India..
We are the biggest democracy in the world with numerous (i'm not sure if its the most in the world) number of languages and dialects. With extremely varying cultures existing in every corner of the country.
I think its time to remind everybody of the TRUE spirit of India.
"Unity in Diversity"
To the Pm.
Jaago Bharat Jaago.....
We are not worried about people who came through BOAT
We are worried about people who came through VOTE....
LETTER TO PRIMEMINISTER
Dear Mr. Prime minister,
I am a typical mouse from Mumbai. In the local train compartment which has capacity of 100 persons, I travel with 500 more mouse. Mouse at least squeak but we don't even do that.
I am a typical mouse from Mumbai. In the local train compartment which has capacity of 100 persons, I travel with 500 more mouse. Mouse at least squeak but we don't even do that.
Today I heard your speech. In which you said 'NO BODY WOULD BE SPARED'. I would like to remind you that fourteen years has passed since serial bomb blast in Mumbai took place. Dawood was the main conspirator. Till today he is not caught. All our bolywood actors, our builders, our Gutka king meets him but your Government can not catch him. Reason is simple; all your ministers are hand in glove with him. If any attempt is made to catch him everybody will be exposed. Your statement 'NOBODY WOULD BE SPARED' is nothing but a cruel joke on this unfortunate people of India.
Enough is enough. As such after seeing terrorist attack carried out by about a dozen young boys I realize that if same thing continues days are not away when terrorist will attack by air, destroy our nuclear reactor and there will be one more Hiroshima.
We the people are left with only one mantra. Womb to Bomb to Tomb. You promised Mumbaikar Shanghai what you have given us is Jalianwala Baug.
Today only your home minister resigned. What took you so long to kick out this joker? Only reason was that he was loyal to Gandhi family. Loyalty to Gandhi family is more important than blood of innocent people, isn't it?
Today only your home minister resigned. What took you so long to kick out this joker? Only reason was that he was loyal to Gandhi family. Loyalty to Gandhi family is more important than blood of innocent people, isn't it?
I am born and bought up in Mumbai for last fifty eight years. Believe me corruption in Maharashtra is worse than that in Bihar. Look at all the politician, Sharad Pawar, Chagan Bhujbal, Narayan Rane, Bal Thackray , Gopinath Munde, Raj Thackray, Vilasrao Deshmukh all are rolling in money. Vilasrao Deshmukh is one of the worst Chief minister I have seen. His only business is to increase the FSI every other day, make money and send it to Delhi so Congress can fight next election. Now the clown has found new way and will increase FSI for fisherman so they can build concrete house right on sea shore. Next time terrorist can comfortably live in those house , enjoy the beauty of sea and then attack the Mumbai at their will.
Recently I had to purchase house in Mumbai. I met about two dozen builders. Everybody wanted about 30% in black. A common person like me knows this and with all your intelligent agency & CBI you and your finance minister are not aware of it. Where all the black money goes? To the underworld isn't it? Our politicians take help of these goondas to vacate people by force. I myself was victim of it. If you have time please come to me, I will tell you everything.
If this has been land of fools, idiots then I would not have ever cared to write you this letter. Just see the tragedy, on one side we are reaching moon, people are so intelligent and on other side you politician has converted nectar into deadly poison. I am everything Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Schedule caste, OBC, Muslim OBC, Christian Schedule caste, Creamy Schedule caste only what I am not is an INDIAN. You politician have raped every part of mother India by your policy of divide and rule.
Take example of former president Abdul Kalam. Such an intelligent person, such a fine human being. You politician didn't even spare him. Your party along with opposition joined the hands, because politician feels they are supreme and there is no place for good person.
Dear Mr Prime minister you are one of the most intelligent person, most learned person. Just wake up, be a real SARDAR. First and foremost expose all selfish politician. Ask Swiss bank to give name of all Indian account holder. Give reins of CBI to independent agency. Let them find wolf among us. There will be political upheaval but that will better than dance of death which we are witnessing every day. Just give us ambient where we can work honestly and without fear. Let there be rule of law. Everything else will be taken care of.
Choice is yours Mr. Prime Minister. Do you want to be lead by one person or you want to lead the nation of 100 Crore people?
For: A Mumbaikar
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